I was born to save the doctor
by delia-of-earth
Summary: Modern High School AU. John Smith is devastated when he hears about the deaths of his two best friends, and he quickly becomes depressed. Clara Oswin Oswald hates being new, but is intrigued by her grumpy but brilliant classmate.
1. Goodbye, Ponds

**Ok hi! So first off, I sadly do not own Doctor Who, or any of that awesome stuff. Secondly, this is my first fanfic (gah!) so it wont be excellent but I hope you like it! Thirdly, I know, I know, this chapter's SUPER short but I felt like I needed to leave it off there. And finally, I dont actually live in England so if my terminology is off, tell me so I can fix it!**

**ok**

**enjoy!**

**Prelude**

The ringing phone broke John Smith from his homework-induced trance. He ran over to get it, hoping for an overdue call from his fiery haired, loud mouthed friend and her quiet (and frankly, John thought, rather dull) but utterly devoted recent-fiancee, and answered with a grin "Hello!" the voice on the other line sounded rushed, and there was lots of noise in the background "John? John Smith? Sorry, Hello?" "yes, yes I'm him" "I'm so sorry Mr. Smith, your friends have been injured" John's grin quickly disappeared "my friends? What friends? WHO?" he yelled, worst case scenarios already flooding his mind "um, let me see, ok here" the voice said "a Mr. and Mrs. Williams?" John ran out the door, grabbing his coat as he left. "Where? You tell me where. NOW!" he yelled, finding the person on the other end exceedingly slow. "Um sorry sir, the East London Honorary Hospital**"** John ran to the tube stop sprinting past the line for the turnstile. With the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder, he thanked his informer, leaving her sounding flustered, and jumped (rather like a madman) onto the approaching train. "Oh my Ponds" he thought as the train left the station at the pace of a snail. "Please, not my Ponds."

**Clara  
**

Clara waited nerviously outside the head's office. She was not unfamiliar to being new, she had been new lots of times before (although it was annoying that she would have to start afresh for her senior year). She thought back to the first day at her old school, an old-fashioned prep school based on some Victorian principal, and the school before that, a new age experimental thing in the Americas. She had liked that one the best, she thought, it had made her feel like an explorer.  
A loud voice from inside pulled her out of her memories. Moments later, the apparent speaker emerged. He was an odd looking boy who seemed to be around her age, with floppy brown hair, a rather ridiculous chin and a face that was made for smiling. Now, though, he seemed rather depressed – tear tracks ran down his face, and his clothes were crumpled and dirty, as if he hadn't washed in days. A pretty blond girl came out after him. "John, listen, I know it must be hard, I am so, _so, _sorry. It really is awful, but you need to come to school ok?" she was saying gently "don't bother, Rose" he snapped, and then turned rudely away from Clara and stomped away. Rose watched him leave, a worried look on her face, before turning to Clara. "Ah! You must be the new girl. I'm Rose. Er, sorry about that. He's been through… well, he's had a rough time of it lately" she said with a small smile, and offered her hand "Clara" Clara replied, shaking Rose's hand. "Ok!" Rose said, "lets just have you fill these forms, then you can go on to 10. That's the headmaster, by the way, he's the 10th so we just call him 10" Rose looker rather flushed. "Are you a student too?" Clara asked curiously, to which Rose replied "Oh sorry, no I'm the secretary" before handing a large stack of papers to Clara with a sympathetic smile. "Well, here goes nothing" Clara thought, and with that she began on the forms.

Clara studied her schedule. Figures, the first thing she would have is Science. Damn. Clara did not like science one bit - oh she admired people who did, of course, she had nothing against the subject its self, but it was just so... _thick._ She wandered around for a bit before finally giving up and asking for directions, and ended up arriving to class late. She burst and and felt her cheeks get hot as she realized that everyone was staring at her. The teacher cleared his throat. "Ladies and gentlemen" he said in a nasally voice "this is Ms... err..""Clara Oswald." Clara offered. "Yes, that" the teacher said "She's new here, I need someone to get her up to speed. Mr. Smith? Would you please help Clara?" Clara followed her teacher's stare, and saw the rude boy from earlier. She was not entirely pleased that she would have to learn from this unpleasant looking boy, and he looked as though he thought much the same. "But Mr. Dav-" he protested, but the teacher (whose name Clara saw now was Davros) cut him off. "No buts. You will help Ms. Clara. Now if you will please take a seat" he said, addressing Clara now "we will begin."  
The rest of the lesson was as dull as Clara had always found the subject, and the buzzing of the bell came far too late. She went over to the boy John Smith's desk and introduced herself. "Im-""Clara. I know." Said the boy. "Here. This is my cell number and address. Come over whenever and I'll catch you up. I've got to go now." And with that he grabbed his book bag and strode away before Clara could respond.


	2. Hello Sweetie

**Hello again! Wow you guys are so supportive, keep it coming! The more you follow/favorite/review the faster I write! This chapter gets pretty intense, and there is mention of self-harm so be warned if that's something you'd rather not read. Again, I own none of Doctor Who (if only!) **

For the rest of the week, Clara had no more contact with John. He was apparently only in her science class, a fact that came as somewhat of a relief to Clara, and he made no move to talk to her. As far as her other classes, they were fairly straightforward and Clara understood most of what she was learning (except for maths, but she had given up on that subject a long time ago). She particularly liked her Home Ec class, which had been the only open elective when she was signing up for courses. They were currently working on baking, and she was going to try and make a soufflé on Monday. All in all, Clara thought she liked the new school - as long as she ignored the one annoying boy, which was easy enough to do.

Clara woke up early on Saturday morning and decided that if she had to meet with John, she would do it today and get it over with. At 10, she grabbed her notebooks and the paper on which John had written his address, and headed out. He lived fairly close and it was a nice day, so she didn't bother with the tube and instead walked to John's house. Once she felt like she was getting close, she pulled out the paper and read each door's number as she passed - 8, 9, 10, ah here! Number 11. The house was ordinary looking, two storied with a modest stoop in front. Clara walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. She realized that she probably should have called, but come on. No one does anything on Saturday mornings, especially a guy like him who, lets be honest, didn't exactly look like he had many friends. A couple minutes passed and no answer, so she got out the paper again and tried phoning him. Nothing. Clara decided that the best thing to do would be to leave a message and go somewhere nearby to get lunch while she waited for him to respond, so she quickly dialed the number again, said what she was doing, and headed out to find a place to eat.

There was a small cafe around the corner that looked passable, so Clara went and got herself a muffin before looking around to try and see if there was some place to sit. The only open seat was at a table that someone was already sitting at, but the girl sitting there didn't look particularly busy, and besides, Clara was hungry and didn't fancy sitting on the ground very much. She grabbed the chair and introduced herself. "Hello, do you mind if I sit here? Im Clara, by the way" "oh no, by all means," said the girl. She had a slightly mischievous smile and her hair looked like it could swallow the planet. "Hello Clara. I'm River Song" the girl said. They chatted for a bit about the weather and such, and Clara actually found that she quite liked River Song. The woman was spunky and had a good sense of humor, and they exchanged emails and agreed that they should hang out again. Eventually, though, River pulled out a book and Clara, having nothing better to do, started going over her science notes.

After an hour with no word from John, she decided to try his house again. "Well, thanks for the seat. I have to go meet my, er... friend now" she said to River Song "Oh no problem sweetie" River said "what's this friend's name?" "John. John... Smith, I think?" Clara replied. River looked surprised "Oh really! You know John. And he's never mentioned me?" "Oh, um, we've only spoken, like, once. He's supposed to help me with science class" "well, be careful sweetie. And also..." River hesitated "well, I suppose you should know. He's not always like this. He used to be quite funny, actually" "really?" Clara wasn't sure if they were talking about the same John - the one _she _knew was anything but funny. "Oh yes! But his best friends, Amy and Rory, the Ponds we called them because they were practically married, well... they died." Clara didn't know how to react. She supposed that was why he was so grumpy. "Oh, um, well" she sputtered "no, it's ok sweetie, you didn't know. Just don't take it personally, yeah?" River said. "Ok yeah. I wont. I should, er, go now." Said Clara, awkwardly. "Yeah. Um. Bye" and she left.

At John's house, Clara rang the doorbell what must've been twenty times. She wanted to apologize for her first impression of him, she wanted to help him. She was a very protective friend, and she felt terribly guilty for the way she had acted towards him earlier. Eventually she realized that ringing wasn't going to get her anywhere, so she tentatively tried the door. To her surprise it was unlocked, and she entered slowly, feeling the need to tiptoe for some reason. Inside the house was quite nice. It had dark blue walls and carpets, and the furniture was on the fancy side. The whole place, however, was musty and seemed un-lived in. Clara started to wonder whether she was in the right house, when she heard a quiet noise. She stopped for a second, tilting her head to hear better. The noise came again. It sounded like a whimper, like a dog, and it was coming from upstairs. She hesitantly ascended the stairs, and looked for any sign that the Smiths had a pet. What she saw, though, was much worse. A few feet in front of her, the carpet turned darker and a figure was lying facedown. His shirt was pushed up to his elbows, revealing his bony arms and he looked smaller, weaker, lying out on the ground like that. But far the most alarming feature was his wrists. They were covered in blood.

** agh cliffhanger! I'll probably publish the next chapter sometime later this week :)**


	3. We're All Stories In The End

**Hello for a third time! Arg I was going to publish sooner but then school got in the way :( I'm going to do the next two chapters or so this week, and then I'll have to take a break from writing for a week. You all have been so nice to me - thank you! As always, I don't own Doctor Who (blame the BBC)**

* * *

_The far most alarming feature was his wrists. They were covered in blood._

Clara dropped to her knees and looked around wildly, as if looking for a sign that would tell her what to do. She screamed for help, not really thinking about the fact that there was no one there. Finally coming to her senses, she pulled out her phone and dialed 999. The telephone operators voice was frustratingly calm when she answered - couldn't this woman see how frantic Clara was? As soon as the operator hung up, with the promise of an ambulance and help, Clara allowed herself to collapse. She couldn't, she didn't know how to deal with this. Her frantic sobbing was interrupted by a loud beep from her phone, and she picked it up, trying not to think about how her fingers slipped on the keys, wet with blood from the carpet. Clara answered (well, practically shouted) into the phone, "Hello? Are you here?!"

"Sweetie, what the hell is wrong?" answered the smooth voice of River Song. "I was just calling to ask if you've found him – has something happened?" she asked, her voice rising in alarm as she heard the hysterical tone in Clara's voice.

"oh god, River, help please, the ambulance is on the way, come quickly, help me" her voice broke.

"what? what the hell? Clara, what is going on?!" River shouted at her phone, definitely scared now, but Clara had hung up.

Only once the ambulance arrived, did Clara get up from her hunched position next to John. They asked her questions and interrogated the neighbors, did they see something unusual? Was he acting odd in any way lately? They were mostly met with guilty looks because yes, John had looked out of sorts, and yes, he had seemed rather depressed but none of them had done anything about it. This realization made Clara cry even harder, and the doctors eventually had to pull her aside to console her and explain to her what would happen.

"Okay, sweetie, were just going to take him to the hospital with us, we'll phone his parents then, you can go home and try to rest," but Clara refused. She insisted on seeing him to the hospital and staying with him until he woke up. And sit with him she did, all the way to there.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

River could not help thinking on the way to the hospital that this was the second time in 2 months that she had gotten this call. Clara had called her half an hour after the first call and explained the whole situation, and River was kicking herself mentally for not noticing the intensity of his depression. She remembered the day of the previous call like is was yesterday...

_It was raining torrents outside, and River was curled up in her favorite armchair, reading some book about Queen Elizabeth. She had read this book before, of course, but Elizabeth was River's favorite Queen, and besides, she couldn't really focus on reading. She and John had gotten in another fight the previous day, and this one had been pretty bad... Her thoughts wandered until the shrill ringing of her old-fashioned telephone forced her to get up and answer it. _

_"Hello" she said_

_"River hurry, the Ponds are hurt" said the voice_

_"John what? What d'you mean hurt? What happened?" She was worried, but not afraid - John had the tendency to over exaggerate, especially when it came to Amy, his best friend. Being 'hurt' could just mean a sprained ankle or something_

_"I DONT KNOW RIVER!" he shouted at her "JUST GET TO THE BLOODY HOSPITAL!" _

_Now River was scared. John never cursed, and seldom yelled, and she hurried to grab her coat and bag._

_At the hospital she was shown immediately to a small, sickly white room, by a woman who had a rather feline face. As soon as she entered, her worst fears were confirmed. Lying on twin beds were her two best friends (though they called themselves her parents, seeing as they had practically raised her - she was quite the troublemaker). Amelia Pond was red-headed Scottish girl with a loud mouth, and Rory Williams was a gentle, caring boy who had been pining after Amy for as long as anyone could remember. They were hooked up to machines that seemed to be monitoring their heart beats, and tubes ran from their arms to bags full of god-knows-what. _

_"what happened" she whispered, surveying the scene_

_"Car crash." Said John. She had not noticed him before, he was sitting in a little plastic chair that was much to small for his long, lanky legs. His face was turned away from her, but she could hear in his voice that he had been crying. "They... they were driving. With the weather... well, they crashed into some stone statue or something" he waved his hands vaguely in the air, as if they would convey what his voice could not._

_"Oh sweetie" she said, and put a hand on his shoulder, which he shrugged off. She went to sit on another chair, and they waited together, in silence._

_Hours passed, and around midnight, Rory's monitor stopped beeping. John cried and the doctors took Rory away, but to River the whole thing felt like a rather cruel dream. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that they heard a small cough, and a shudder ran through the limp body of Amelia Pond. River ran to hold the hand of her best friend._

_"River..." Amy said in a raspy voice_

_"Amy, oh Amy" River replied, trying to hide the tears that were building in her eyes. She realized that this may be Amy's final moments, and the gravity of the situation weighed on her shoulders, so heavy, heavier than she could bear. _

_"Dont worry... River... Im not scared" said Amy_

_"I know, I know, I love you" River choked out. She stepped back then, and let John have a few words with his friend._

_"John..." Amy whispered_

_"Amy, oh my Amelia Pond..." he cried_

_"Do you remember the stories you told me when we were little?" she asked "the ones where I was a pirate... and Rory was a Roman...and my name..."_

"_Amelia Pond, like a name from a fairy tale...This was your story... This was the story of Amelia Pond" _

_"We're all just stories in the end" she replied, her Scottish accent blurring her words_

_"But make it a good one, eh?" he croaked "because it was you know. It was the best..."_

_"This is the story of Amelia Pond" she whispered, smiling faintly, "And this is how it ends"_

_then her monitor stopped as well_

* * *

**many apologies for using the quotes at the end... I was crying a bit while writing, I must confess.**


	4. Oswin Oswald

**Woo! Another chapter out! This one's a bit shorter, but I'll be posting again within the next few days so I hope that makes up for it. Thank you all for your reviews! Unfortunately, I still don't own Doctor Who (for some reason the BBC won't give it to me...) Enjoy!  
**

* * *

The next few days were all a blur to Clara. She could remember exactly what happened during the whole ride to the hospital, and after she got there, waiting for someone to tell her what the _hell _was happening. Finally her parents picked her up and after that she tuned everything out. She didn't speak to anyone at school, and she had no idea what was happening to John. She wanted to go visit him, was was worried about what she would say to him - what does one say to a guy they barely know, who they found half dead after they tried to commit suicide? How do you even approach them? Clara had tried countless times to compose letters, notes, speeches to John, trying to express _something. _She wasn't even sure herself how she felt about the whole thing. Sure, of course she was sad, but she was also so mad at him for putting her through the whole ordeal.

By the following weekend Clara realized that she wasn't ever going to get some rest until she saw him. So that was how she found herself early Saturday morning standing outside the hospital doors. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she was going to have to face. She got directions to John's room - they had put him somewhere that they could check on him - and tentatively approached the door. She was tiptoeing, although she didn't really know why, but hospitals generally have the atmosphere that makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. The door was open a crack she saw, and she was about to push it open when she heard a voice. She took a step back, but slowly then creeped forward again, tilting her heard to hear the conversation.

"You didn't have to come."

"Of course I did, sweetie"

Clara recognized John's voice, and realized that the other person speaking was River. She knew that she shouldn't be listening in on their conversations, but stood still.

"Why on earth would you do that? I mean what were you thinking John?"

"They were my friends River! My- my only friends"

"What about me?"

"River, you know yourself that we are... whatever. Complicated, I suppose, though that's a bad way of putting it"

"I know that, John, and I wish you'd just say what you mean instead of flitting around the subject. I _meant_, what about my feeling about their- well, about what happened? John, they were my best friends too!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think-"

"No, you never do, do you?!"

"River please, I'm sorry. I miss you, ok? I don't want to fight, not now"

"Well tough, sweetie, you should have talked to me instead of going off and-"

"I know. I tried, but... Well, we weren't exactly on good terms when it happened."

"Yeah" Clara heard River sigh. "I have to go now. See you around"

Clara quickly stepped back, and tried to pretend that she was just arriving as River emerged.

"Oh hello sweetie" River said with a smile "well, I was just going" and she left. With her heart pounding, Clara nervously stepped into the room. John was lying on a cot, bundled up in thick blankets. His hair was a mess, and he looked exhausted.

"Hello" John said, without looking up

"John. Im-"

"No, don't say you're sorry, because either you mean you're sorry you came or you're sorry for me. Im glad you came, but please don't pity me."

"Oh. Ok. Well, can I ask... erm... are you ok?"

John sighed. He looked up at Clara. "No. No Clara Oswald I am not ok. I tried to kill myself and I was found by a girl who I have been not very nice to, and now I have just had another fight with River, which you overheard all of, and the _stupid _doctors have me filled to bursting with sedatives."

Clara didn't quite know how to respond to that "well, uh, I'm glad I found you. It's ok that you were a little... well, whatever, and I'm sure you and River will make up - are you two dating or something?"

"I don't want to talk about it" said John, rather grumpily, then after a pause "maybe. I can never tell"

"Well" said Clara "I don't really care why you did it, as long as-" she sat on the cot and stared at him "you never. ever. do it again"

"Well, if I do I'll put a 'do not disturb sign on the door. Seriously, who does that? Barge into a random person's house without permission?"

"Not funny. And you promised you'd catch me up on science, so it wasn't really without permission."

"You. are. Impossible"

"Thank you"

A nurse knocked on the door then, and said politely "John, excuse me but you have another visitor"

"Fine, then, send them in. Until next time, impossible girl."

"You could always just call me Oswin, seeing as that's my name" Clara replied cheekily, but she smiled and left. On her way out she noticed the headmaster. "Oh, are you John's visitor?" She asked

"Yup. I'm also his cousin, well, cousin by marriage, well, sort of, it's all very confusing" he said all in one breath, and ran a hand through his hair, which was already about two feet in the air. "See you monday, Ms. Oswald"

"Okay, bye"

_John watched through the window as Clara left. He was happy she had come to see him, and grateful she hadn't made a big deal about it. He hoped she would be back soon..._


	5. Fishfingers and Custard

**a/n**

**ohmygosh you guys. I am SO sorry! You have every right to throw rotten tomatoes or eggs or cinder blocks. School has been hell and my finals are coming up, but really I have no excuse. *sorrysorrysorry****sorrysorrysorry****sorrysorrysorry* I really hope I'll be able to update weekly from now on, but every two weeks FOR SURE. in the meanwhile, I'll be updating a different story that I'm working on more often called Of Wands and Sonics (you can see it on my profile)**

******as always, I own none of these characters.**

It had been several weeks since the "incident," as Clara called it. She was getting into her classes, and had even made some friends that weren't suicidal or practically certifiably insane. She had taken to hanging out with a girl named Martha and her boyfriend Mickey. They were a sweet couple, but Clara much more enjoyed talking to just Martha. She liked Mickey, but he could come off as a bit of a... Pet. He was always following Martha around, and Clara had starting calling him (only in her head, of course) the pet dog. She didn't really know what to think of their friend, Jack. He was very handsome, but annoying in the way that people who know they're attractive can be. He was also always flirting with her (and Martha), even though as far as she could tell, he had a boyfriend. When she mentioned this to John, he got huffy and told her that Jack was "the most annoying flirt on the planet".

Yes, all in all Clara liked her new friends. The only problematic point of conversation was the future. They were in their last year of secondary school, so naturally everyone was applying to Uni and planning out what they wanted to do with their lives. Martha and Mickey had gotten early acceptance from some sciency experimental program in New York, which they both seemed excited about. Jack was planning to join the army, which made sense given his overconfidence. River, who Clara had been a little cautious around since the hospital incident, wanted to study Archeology. John scoffed at this when Clara mentioned it, though. Apparently he thought Archeology was ridiculous. In fact, John was the only other person Clara knew who didn't have his life figured out. All he knew, he told Clara, was that he wanted to go on adventures.

oXo

John was getting frustrated with being stuck in this stupid little hospital. And for John, being frustrated meant being grumpy. And annoying. And often a bit rude. He had taken to diagnosing himself and calling himself The Doctor, which irritated his real doctors to no end. Also, the younger nurses had this annoying habit of standing by his door on their break, and winking at him if ever he looked over. When he mentioned this curious affliction to his doctor, the man had laughed and said, "you have it easy, mate" which was untrue because 1, he certainly did _not _have it easy (how do you think he ended up in this bloody hospital anyway?) and 2, his doctor was on no uncertain terms, absolutely-completely-one-hundred-percent NOT his mate. Finally, after what felt like _months _of waiting, they let him go.

The first thing that John did as soon as he got out of that- that _prison _was call River.

He knew that many people believed that she was out of his league, or just stringing him around, but he believed in her. He did get worried sometimes, seeing the looks that other men gave her whenever they went out together, but it was all worth it to see the look on her face when he did something particularly interesting or clever. She was his and he was her, and that was one of the only things he knew for certain. They may have their - erm - disagreements, but they cared about each other more then either of them put into words.

"River? Hello! I'm out! I'm free! Let's go eat fishfingers and celebrate!" He did a little dance with joy

"Excellent! I sweetie, I would love to but I really do need to study. I have final exams coming up and such a bid essay on-"

"Uggggghhhh River," he whined, "You're ditching me for _archeology?" _

"Just one more hour, sweetie, the I'll meet you at you place for whatever disgusting concoction you can think of"

"OK! But just so you know, fishfingers and custard is actually a very-"

"Like I said, disgusting"

"It's not!"

"_As pears_"

"Never! River don't you ever compare it to those- those foul- those aweful"

"ok, well maybe not _so _disgusting"

"YAY!"

"Bye, sweetie"

John heard the line go dead and grinned to himself, then grimaced at the thought of _pears..._ How dare that woman...

oXo

Clara was lounging on her bed, reading a book absentmindedly, when she heard a loud _crash_ and her front door being opened. She tensed and grabbed an umbrella laying by the door to her bedroom. Slowly, she inched her door open and crept down the hall, careful not to step on the creaky floorboard. She peered down the hall and saw a face. A face that she had hoped she would never, ever see again. A pallid face, framed by greasy brown hair, with a menacing glint in it's eye

"Hello, Ms. Oswald. We meet again."


End file.
